if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So many bounce houses so little time
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Randomize
