He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
