Already got asked if we're dating
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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