i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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