Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize