well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
