so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
