Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
