I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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