Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do vagina's smell?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
