Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
4 words: hood of his car
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
