hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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