You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
