Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Randomize
