Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
