I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
