I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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