drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize