Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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