Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
