You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
