If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
