hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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