if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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