I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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