He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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