what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
