just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
