I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
