You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize