OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
