What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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