At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
