I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
