I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize