She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
