there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
bring money and cleavage
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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