sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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