This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
