If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
