I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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