She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you had me at cake vodka
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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