dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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