Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize