dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Randomize
