i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
