I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
