just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
