Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
