Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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