Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
