feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
