Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
