exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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