i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
