What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
