Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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