Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
