Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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