Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
