Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Come see our sink grown plant.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
