she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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