are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You smell like stripper and shame
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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