She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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