There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize