I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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